Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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