I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
