Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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