i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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