hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
