i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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