I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can't special order awesome
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
