Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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