Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
