did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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