i was born a porn star she said
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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