Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
