a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
