im six kinds of drunk right now
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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