69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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