I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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