My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
