So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
