you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
