Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
