only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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