I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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