I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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