ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
