Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
