This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you win again, gameday.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
