sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
