Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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