She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
