Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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