And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
