i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Farmville is her only friend.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
