i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
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I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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