Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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