like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Everclear isn't food dammit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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