Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
