I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
