Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
