did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
