i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
