Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
