my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
