Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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