hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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