She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
