Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
