I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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