Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize