Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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