We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
