this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
