As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
