So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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