Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
