U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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