I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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