He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have fence marks all over my body
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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