none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
