what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
